Daddy Throws Me In The Air - Dillard Ayn

'It was time to heal. I had to stop creating a life that I could not live. It was time for the pain and suffering to stop. There was too much pain. I will die if the pain continues. Why does my life keep ending up in the same place? Abusive marriages, divorces, lawyers, legal suits - people in my life that had alcoholism, mental illness and abusive behavior, all telling me that I am the problem. Why did I keep creating and recreating everything I did not want and vowed not to have in my life?  'p'

In the process of the healing - soul searching - reading of books - discussing - studying - therapy; seemingly insignificant scenes from my childhood kept entering my mind. The scenes were overpowering me, forcing me to look at and relive the feelings that I was having at the time. I began writing down the stories and discovered very meaningful messages that I was given as a child, messages that imprinted me and shaped my life's existence. These scenes and the feelings they created caused me to experience a repetitive pattern. It did not matter if the imprints were intended to create this pattern, only that it was the pattern it created in me. Until I was genuinely ready and able to look at my imprints and beliefs, where they came from and release them - the pattern would remain.'
Negative imprints, beliefs, thinking and emotions cause a great deal of mental, emotional and physical distress. Negative thoughts and worry sink deep and can control your life. There is power in how you perceive your past, your relation to it and your world . Awareness of how your past affects and guides will help stop the vicious cycle.  'p'

'Daddy Throws Me In The Air' is a journey through childhood memories to awareness. It includes a process to assist in releasing negative imprints and beliefs.