Zambia Up Close and Personal - Moira Cooke

‘Feeling suddenly faint, I toss a quick prayer heavenwards for protection against all things visible and invisible, before tucking in with feigned gusto to goat stew, washed down with tea made from freshly boiled river water, telling myself, a few mouthfuls will suffice to see duty done.

“Let’s hope we’re not in one of those African regions where eyeballs and testicles are considered the ultimate delicacy,” Bob mutters under his breath.

I gag on a glob of goat stew, hair still attached to the larger lumps. “You are joking?”

“Only for the most honoured guests, naturally!” he sniggers.’

‘“Look out, elephant!” I call out as an enormous bull, ears flapping, trunk waving and trumpeting loudly stampedes out from the surrounding bush.

“Go, go, go!” Ali and I chorus together.

With seconds to spare before the elephant reaches us, Bob’s foot hits the accelerator. Leaving behind a cloud of dust, the vehicle zooms out of harm’s way. In the wing mirror, I watch the entire herd emerge from surrounding bush in full charge stampeding down the road behind us.

“Did you get a picture?” Bob has the gall to ask.

No, I did not!’

‘The young policeman is getting into his stride. “This person is disputing my judgement,” he announces. “An infringement is an infringement.”

“Officer, you cannot treat these persons like this!” Mr Mbai joins the fray.

Even Mr Chama joins in. “These people are from the UK, they are helping the people of our country.”

The young policeman is having none of it. “Everyone in this vehicle is in cahoots. I have no alternative but to ask you to proceed to the police station. Myself I will accompany you there.” The officious young policeman opens the rear door and squeezes into the back seat. Just as well he is small, it’s already crowded in there. “Drive on!” he commands.

By now, I’m shaking. “Are you . . . arresting me?”

“Indeed, yes, that is the case.”

I can’t trust myself to drive any further. “Then my husband can drive.” I get out the vehicle slamming the door, praying Bob doesn’t lose his rag, worse, offer the policeman twenty pin to forget the matter.’

If you thought you’d read everything Moira and Bob Cooke got up to in the first two books, then along comes a third to reveal more of these two intrepid travellers and charity workers’ escapades in Zambia. May you once again laugh, cry and hold your breath as they face yet more trials and adventures, this time getting ‘Up Close and Personal’ with the locals and wildlife, as well as battling with vehicles and scary situations that at times defy description.

“If I hadn’t kept a journal, I never would have believed myself the half of what we got up to!” - Moira Cooke, author