Soldier Battling Two Wars - Thomas James Lott

This is a true story about how I overcame adversity in my life. Some people may ridicule, judge, criticize, or no longer call me a friend, as some have already done. Nevertheless, these are the struggles I endured as a soldier and husband. No one knows all that I have kept buried deep inside of me to keep the peace in my home over the last 30 years of my life. I am disappointed and ashamed of myself for things I have done and said when it came to my marriage and family.

Some content may be hard for you to understand or relate to, especially if you have never been a victim of emotional and verbal abuse. Can you imagine what it's like to be in the military, married with children, and knowing that one day you may have to leave them for a long period of time to defend your country and you may never see them again? Not knowing if your marriage is strong enough to handle the pressure of you not being there to comfort them, to kiss your children good night, or lay next to your spouse holding her as tightly as you can so she will always feel safe in your arms. Just the thought of it is stressful, but to live it is a life changing journey of a soldier.

My story tells the highs and lows, joys and pains, laughter and tears, and the trust and deceit. The military way of life can be very hard on your marriage, your mind, and your body. I struggle every day to overcome the verbal, emotional stress, and physical abuse I endured in the military and in my marriage. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Insomnia, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, and Anxiety. I have been seeing a psychiatrist since 2016. Through this and the help of my loving fiancée, with God's grace and mercy, I am becoming the man I want to be.

I hope my story will touch someone out there and encourage them to seek help as I did.