I'm Surprised I'm Still Alive - Alan Jimmy J

Follow Jimmy on his journey from his birth, through to the birth of his first child at the age of 21. His early life was filled with every kind of deprivation, he was constantly living on the edge of starvation, the threat of death was never far away either from his home life or from his multiple abusers, the authorities knew what was going on but they didn't help, the most they did was observe, the schools also knew the treatment he was getting at home, every day of his young life was lived in fear, his mind, his body, and his very soul were shattered, 3 times he was placed into a children's home, a place that should have offered a bit of safety, but this place was no better, it was just another place of fear and terror and abuse, only this time at the hands of strangers. for little jimmy no matter where he turned, he found no peace or comfort, his abuse and torment went on until he was in his early teens. Jimmy's early life left him confused with what he was meant to be, was he straight or gay, he hid all the traumas from everyone, at times he would drink away the pain, but it never left him. help arrived in the shape of Judy, she loved his pain away, it was a love he had never felt before, a pure unconditional love for both of them, but this was ripped away from them through lies and deceit, it led to them being jobless, penniless, homeless, a mental hospital, and the ultimate ending of their love, none of it their fault, all done out of pure spite. Jimmy was left alone no Judy, no family, no home, no job, no money, no hope and no help, he tried to get his life back together as best he could, but he would endure more obstacles, a house fire that nearly killed him, a 21st birthday spent alone in the cold and rain, a spell in prison. His life only made sense when his first child was born, its when he began to feel normal, but for over 40 years Judy remained in his head and heart, how could he just forget her, he couldn't.