Tong Lashing - David Peter

Every heroic fantasy has its hero - the dashing, handsome, fearless warrior who will rush into battle, slaughter the forces of evil, secure in the knowledge that he will save the day and win the favor of the (always beautiful and virginal) princess of the land, and live happily ever after.

This is not about that guy.

Apropos is the son of a prostitute, born of a gang-rape by a bunch of drunk knights, and his mother is convinced that the universe has Great Things planned for him. Apropos is sick of hearing the word 'destiny' being bandied about, and he would rather save his own skin than the world. Unfortunately, the world has other plans for him...